Episode #49: Welcome to You Are the Magic Pill, I’m your host Victoria. In today’s episode, I am thrilled to have my bestie Richele Batt-Kramer as a guest once again. Richele is a highly respected dating and relationship coach who runs the Coaching Closet. Together, we delve into our personal histories of relationships and share our experiences that have helped shape us into the individuals we are today. We firmly believe that every moment in life is significant, and it’s essential to embrace the journey and cherish every experience, good or bad. Join us as we explore the value of learning from past relationships and the importance of living life to the fullest.

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Visit my website: CoachingCloset.com
Connect on free Facebook Group: CoachingClosetConnect.com
Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/607035253196498
 

CONNECT WITH VICTORIA:

Website: YouAretheMagicPill.com
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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

0:03 Thanks for tuning in to You Are the Magic Pill.

0:06 If you are ready to realize that you are the magic pill, then come on a heroic journey with me to remember who you truly are to activate that power found within.

0:17 Hi, and welcome back to You Are the Magic Pill.

0:21 Thank you so much for tuning in with me today.

0:23 I’m super excited because I have my friend Richelle with me today.

0:29 Hi, Richelle.

0:29 Hey, girl.

0:30 Hey, I’m so excited to be here with you in the big D.

0:35 That’s right.

0:36 Oh, my God, girl is in Houston.

0:38 Meet the big D so awesome.

0:40 Like this time we’ve been together a few times and you’ve been to Houston in my closet and we’ve recorded severally and been together like severally.

0:51 And now I’m here in your home, your gorgeous home in Dallas.

0:55 That’s it.

0:55 And so reunited and then it feels so good.

1:02 Ok.

1:03 I’m, I’m not a singer.

1:04 I’m more of a dancer as you know.

1:06 Oh, well, you know, I’m a singer and a dancer.

1:08 I know you love to dance.

1:11 It’s, it’s all, it’s so lovely.

1:13 It’s so lovely.

1:14 I just had to set the stage for everyone because Victoria is sitting here drinking out of a mason jar and in her gorgeous living room with all her flowers and candles lit and of course there’s a mower going.

1:27 Come on, dude, I want go take a break.

1:30 I made this best cup of coffee for me.

1:32 I’m tired today after driving up here.

1:34 But yeah, we are here together.

1:36 It’s been a little over a year and I distinctly remember the last episode we recorded together.

1:40 Oh, do you tell?

1:42 Well, I had just been through a massive break up but I think it was Valentine’s Day.

1:46 It was not pretty breaking up.

1:49 It’s hard to do.

1:50 But now we can have a lot to do.

1:53 I was like, ok, let’s just talk about the lessons you can learn and the breaking up is necessary to do.

1:58 Oh, yeah.

1:59 We were just talking about breakdowns, lead to breakthroughs and that’s one thing that my clients go through all the time.

2:05 Oh, my God.

2:06 You’ve had some changes in your life too recently.

2:09 But I mean, I met the love of my life after that break up.

2:12 Awesome.

2:13 I had no idea what the future held for me and we’re about to celebrate one year together.

2:18 We got married after 95 days, which is insane.

2:21 And I got to be in the wedding.

2:24 I know.

2:25 Yeah, that was fun and cold.

2:27 I thought I was actually going to die.

2:28 Did I tell you this?

2:30 I don’t know if I told you this.

2:31 But while I was standing out there shivering half to death, I was clenching my teeth.

2:36 I was shaking so severely because I get cold in like 65.

2:40 You know, and it was, what was it, like 50.

2:44 No, no, no.

2:44 It had to be way low.

2:46 It just drop so much.

2:47 It was so low.

2:48 It felt like 30.

2:49 Ok.

2:50 So I’m standing there and I was like, thinking in my mind, I’m like, would anybody notice if I just took off and ran into the building?

3:00 I’d be like, oh, what is she doing now?

3:03 At least three times.

3:05 And yes, I actually did that.

3:07 I’m like, girl, you can’t do that.

3:08 I had to talk myself down.

3:10 I was like, you can’t do that.

3:11 Thank you.

3:12 That the love is real because like that day was insane.

3:15 It was glorious.

3:16 It was raining all around the venue and then we moved everything inside and the day before it was so gorgeous.

3:22 I know.

3:22 And then that cool friend came and it was like, ok, everything’s inside and we thought it was going to rain and then they’re like 20 minutes before, but your wedding was so gorgeous.

3:31 Oh my God.

3:31 It was always worth it to do it outside.

3:33 So I’m like, I mean, it was, you can’t think about the people and I don’t want to make you feel badly about that.

3:39 I just thought it was funny.

3:40 That I had the actual thought of running away.

3:42 I would have never done that or would I, I don’t know.

3:44 I didn’t, I feel like you’ll never have a runaway bride to be the runaway bride bride.

3:49 I was like, wait, where is she going?

3:51 I was so thankful that my dress had pockets.

3:53 I was my hands in the pockets.

3:54 But anyway, got one hand in my pocket.

3:58 The other one’s giving up peace out, peace out.

4:01 So yeah, we got married in 95 days and then had a wedding.

4:04 That was so awesome.

4:05 I’m so happy for you.

4:06 Y’all are perfect together.

4:07 You have a lot of joy, which is your favorite thing to say.

4:11 Yes and y’all are great.

4:13 So it took you a little bit of a journey and a process to get there and I don’t know why this popped in my head.

4:20 This is kind of negative, but some people might judge you for getting married.

4:24 So I got the hate and the love, ok?

4:28 I was just thinking about this.

4:30 I think it was yesterday or today.

4:31 It was like you find out who your friends are when you’re going through a real tragedy.

4:36 Like divorce.

4:37 People always say they find out who your friends are and then you find out who your friends are when you do something kind of like off culture norms, like very, really fast or you’re really happy or something.

4:48 You know, when you have something really spectacular like that in your life.

4:51 It’s not, it’s not the narrative you’re not supposed to be.

4:56 You don’t, no one really does that.

4:58 And I was like, thinking about that, I was like, you find out like people are like, no, no, like get in line, get, get back within the matrix, you know, kind of being as like you really find out people like, yeah, because people don’t necessarily come out and say it’s kind of like they give you the side eye kind of thing or you hear from other people, they’re saying this about you, you need to like, you need to kind of keep it on the down low.

5:22 You need to kind of, you know, whatever.

5:24 It’s different.

5:24 It’s weird.

5:25 But I’m like, we’re just like, we are both totally in, we both totally new and we are doing this.

5:30 We waited our whole lives for this.

5:32 We’re 40 because I went in, right.

5:34 It was crazy.

5:35 And I never really understood that before because I had never experienced it before.

5:39 I wanted to experience it before.

5:40 And I thought, oh, this must be what it is.

5:43 But no, that one, he’s the only guy in the world.

5:47 Not like no, because when you know, he’s the right guy, you know, not the right guy because he had a four right wonder have I been struck by lighting?

5:56 I’m not sure.

5:58 Oh, hell no.

5:58 Like if you’ve been struck by lightning, you know, So, that’s what it is.

6:02 Right.

6:02 It’s like you don’t have to wonder.

6:04 So that’s the feeling, you know, that I got married.

6:07 My first marriage when I was 19, I wait, wait, wait, that’s the first one.

6:12 And then my second one I got married when I was 24.

6:14 The 19 didn’t last at all because that was not even meant to be.

6:17 But the second one I met my ex and we got married within nine months.

6:23 So we met, moved to Austin within like a few months.

6:27 And then, we got married in all, within nine months.

6:30 So I’ve been there and done that too and some people might say, well, where did that end up?

6:36 Or?

6:36 How’d that go?

6:37 I’m like, well, it actually went really well because I was married for 21 years.

6:41 Was it all wonderful and perfect?

6:43 No.

6:44 Is any relationship?

6:45 No.

6:45 But do I have lots of good memories?

6:48 Yes.

6:48 And do I have two beautiful daughters?

6:50 Absolutely.

6:51 That I would never ever trade any of those experiences for what I have now.

6:56 So it was totally worth it.

6:57 And to me that’s equal success no matter if it lasted a lifetime or 21 years or if it lasts two years, one year, whatever it is, the experience that you’re having and you’re living in the moment and you’re just going and you’re following your heart.

7:11 And I think that’s beautiful.

7:12 I think it’s beautiful and I think that the people that have an issue with it is because they don’t know how to let go and follow their own heart.

7:18 Right.

7:19 And maybe they wish that they would do that.

7:22 Maybe they can’t even see that, but it’s their projection that is coming on to you as judgment, but whatever.

7:28 That’s right.

7:29 What I’ve learned is that I’ve really have learned, like, probably 97.5% not to take things personal.

7:37 That’s pretty, where did you get that statistic?

7:39 Do you do in your head?

7:41 Just?

7:41 Wow, it’s pretty impressive to be honest because I’m like, wait, what was the percentage?

7:45 97.5%?

7:46 Ok.

7:47 Got it because I do still take things personal sometimes and I get my feelings hurt because I’m a human being.

7:51 Well, of course, we’re all learning.

7:52 We’re not like 100% like enlightened like that, you know, we’re in the process, right?

7:57 But you know, other people, they don’t see us as we are, they see us as they are, right?

8:02 They see us through their own lens, right?

8:04 Their own experiences and their own knowledge and wisdom.

8:06 And so it’s like, ok, if you want to see me that way, that’s fine.

8:10 So it’s like I try to take it personal because oh yeah, because you don’t understand, I mean, they don’t know, they don’t know, I forgive them for, they know not what they do.

8:18 They don’t know and, and we don’t know sometimes like when we’re having these thoughts, we don’t know either because we’re only looking from our lands.

8:26 So, yeah.

8:27 So it’s like, ok, I mean, we’re all just doing what we think is best at the time.

8:31 I look back, you know, 2, 3, 4 or five years ago and think, wow, I would make completely different decisions now because I’m a different, I’m different.

8:39 I’m wiser.

8:39 I’m, you know, hopefully we’re all growing it a certain time.

8:42 But, you know, you just have to follow your heart.

8:45 I think it’s really, really smart to be that way.

8:48 So, yeah, I think as far as your relationship goes, your marriage goes, there are, sometimes it’s like, I mean, you can’t go back and say I would have done things differently because would you have?

8:56 No, no, at that time you probably wouldn’t have and you don’t have that opportunity.

9:01 And do you regret becoming the person through that experience that you are now?

9:05 No, of course not.

9:07 So, it’s like, ok, that relationship is not.

9:09 I don’t like to look at it as a failure.

9:11 I like, no, not at all.

9:12 Completed relationships that you can learn lessons from.

9:16 And so people are living in way too much shame over.

9:19 Oh, I have a failed marriage and that you get to the societal teaching that so if we can just look at like, you know, these are lessons we can learn and use them as building blocks to become our best selves.

9:30 That’s like, so much freedom.

9:32 So, yeah.

9:33 Yeah.

9:33 So, that life and be in the moment more and let go of the outcome if it’s going to last forever.

9:38 Right.

9:38 Absolutely.

9:39 Well, tell me about yourself and like the last year, what’s happened in your life?

9:44 The different changes.

9:44 I know you got some coming up.

9:46 What do you want to share how much time we got?

9:49 No, I don’t know.

9:50 I mean, I’ve been in the depths of hell for a while, but I’ve also had some joyful moments, but I’m about to do a series over a bunch of episodes about the journey.

9:59 But yeah, I just, I’ve gone through a lot of emotions and had a lot of breakthroughs and experiences and, you know, I’m still really happy and where I’m at, you know, now I’m happy tomorrow.

10:11 I’ll not be sad, but I, I’m happy and, you know, I hold on to that moment when I’m happy.

10:16 I really enjoy it and I feel it and then I know I’m learning the process of when I’m sad.

10:22 That that’s ok too.

10:23 That, that’s part of the process and to be sad and to love that part too.

10:28 And so that’s what I’m excited to share about in the upcoming episodes.

10:32 But I’m having a new job exploring that, going in a new direction, going to learn some new things that I needed to learn like 20 years ago.

10:40 But, hey, don’t live in regret ok.

10:42 Don’t live in shame.

10:43 Like there’s that shame voice.

10:45 Right.

10:45 I should have learned that.

10:47 I should have, I hate when people should all over me and, oh my God, shit all over ourselves.

10:51 I shit in your pants.

10:53 I should, I did, I did.

10:56 I’m shameful now, 12 years ago, I’m in the same boat as you with that because I’m going back to school.

11:01 Oh, yeah.

11:01 That’s all, it was more like three years ago, but I’m going back to get my master’s degree and that’s all I can become a therapist.

11:07 But, yeah, girl, I think there’s no time like the present.

11:10 So who cares about all that?

11:12 I should have done this back then because you wouldn’t have, I wouldn’t have, I still, I still don’t just to get, no, I’m in the, I’m definitely in the process.

11:21 I’m gonna finish my, I’m working on a life coach certification and I’m so happy about it.

11:26 I started reading about it and like, actually doing it, like taking that first step of doing it.

11:30 It’s the hardest thing for me and on the face of this planet now, I’m going to say it’s the easiest thing for me to ever do is to take that first step and to do what I actually want to do and to believe that I actually can’t do it like I can do it, I can do anything I want and no matter what my story, old story was and so, but I started to read it.

11:49 It’s called live strategies code.

11:51 It’s so perfect for me.

11:52 And you’re going to understand why?

11:53 Because it talks about like the left brain, right brain hemisphere, two sides to the story kind of thing.

11:58 It’s not hilarious because that’s like the voice of reason.

12:02 And I always see two sides to the story, two sides to the coin, two sides to everything and queen of that.

12:08 I know.

12:08 Right.

12:09 So how funny that I got guided to that particular certification.

12:14 It’s not a coincidence, you know what?

12:16 It’s crazy that we do, we put off things.

12:20 I saw this meme or something about like, oh wow.

12:23 I’ve been putting off that one chore for like six months and it took me 15 minutes to do it.

12:27 Yeah, because it seems daunting or it seems scary or it seems whatever it’s like in whatever we have a block about it.

12:33 Yeah.

12:34 It’s like, oh, wow.

12:35 Like this is actually could be enjoyable, you know, and then it’s like whenever you’re doing it, like what we’re talking about and then just release that.

12:43 It took you that long to do it and just be glad that you’re actually doing it now.

12:46 And that way you can just fully step into the present moment and then get it done and move on and be who you came to be, which reminds me about this thing.

12:54 This is so crazy.

12:56 I went to get my lashes done this morning.

12:58 I told you and I was supposed to go on Saturday, but I didn’t feel well.

13:01 So I canceled it and then I went, she had an opening this morning and this happened two years ago, the same thing I had a bluey appointment that I was going to go to see her about a year and a half ago.

13:12 And I went and then I opened up my eyes and I saw this most beautiful lady.

13:18 I remember this.

13:19 I remember this.

13:19 Yes.

13:20 Yes.

13:20 I saw this most beautiful lady and I thought to myself, wow, she is so beautiful.

13:25 And she’s a life coach and she has a podcast.

13:28 She’s so beautiful.

13:30 I just think she’s just amazing.

13:33 And I’ve told my boyfriend that Chris and he was like, I bet she thought the same thing about you, which I thought was so adorable.

13:40 And another time I ran into her and then we almost met up, we set up an appointment.

13:45 I had another time that I woke up and she was there in the last place she was there at the same time.

13:51 Flukey.

13:52 Ok.

13:52 And then we set up an appointment to meet and then her husband surprised her with Cozumel trip and then we set up another appointment and then we just didn’t meet this morning.

14:00 I went, opened my eyes and that lady was sitting there.

14:04 Oh my gosh.

14:05 Ok.

14:05 So are you going to meet her?

14:07 And I said, well, we have to meet and she said, yes, we do here.

14:12 We have to me.

14:13 Ok.

14:14 So there’s like I said, there’s no, oh wait.

14:15 Oh yeah.

14:16 But let me just tell you what the reflection is on that.

14:18 That is me.

14:20 That is me.

14:20 Like you are supposed to step into that.

14:22 Yes.

14:23 And, and now that you’ve started this life coaching journey, she’s got time known.

14:28 It’s just like right time is, is now, right.

14:31 Right.

14:31 The vortex.

14:32 I’ve had it in the vortex this whole time.

14:34 And now I’m actually stepping into that power and she showed up again.

14:39 So each time I step into that power, she shows up.

14:42 Isn’t that so awesomely?

14:43 You, you just kind of manifested her back into your life.

14:46 And so now it’s time like you just have to know like this is that, that’s me, it is my destiny.

14:51 I can do this.

14:52 So stay in that high, right?

14:53 You know, like I already believe that I can and I believe that I am and everybody can do that, which is so awesome and that’s what you’re doing.

15:02 And you know, it all goes back to following your bliss, following what’s in your true heart and like, you know, your true hearts desire.

15:10 And just like when you, you met Micah, you long to get married, you long to have that relationship.

15:16 You wanted to find your soulmate, you wanted to find your partner.

15:20 That was like your mission and you didn’t want to settle, then, you know, you went through the process.

15:25 So what people don’t see on the other side is that you did all the work, you went through the process of calling in the world, you did all of that and then you may have showed up same thing, just like, wow, that’s so cool.

15:40 Yeah, that’s what people don’t know, is like, well, I actually coach the program in the one.

15:45 So, you know, this, but I know that we’re going to put this out on my podcast and your so like, it’s a process of releasing old toxic ties and soul ties and resentment in the past and learning why, you know, you might have been sucker.

15:59 And so that’s the process and then like, setting a very bold intention of where you’re going.

16:04 And from that you use the law of attraction to walk into the future that you want for yourself.

16:10 And like a lot of people just follow on social media and they see like, oh, she just met this guy and married him in three months, but you don’t understand this work has been going on for like three or four years that I’ve been doing.

16:21 So, it’s not like it just happened, you know, like you see these, I’m into like, you know, seeing the memes and things.

16:28 It’s like people say, oh, she’s so lucky, like, and they don’t feel the work you put in for you know, the blood sweat and tears and it’s emotional work becoming a coach.

16:36 At least the program I went through, like, you have to go through the program yourself with a peer coach, with mentor coaches and like, you’re actually going through the personal development yourself.

16:45 So you’re going through it yourself and changing and growing and then you get to become certified.

16:51 It’s not like you just, you know, take a 20 minute course and you know, they slap you a patient.

16:56 So I mean, I, I was telling someone about that the other day and I was like, man, I thought, you know, I’m gonna take this course and it’s like a nine month course that I’ve taken two of them.

17:05 I actually one of them twice because I didn’t finish the first time because COVID and all that I remember.

17:09 Yeah, but I go through it and I was like, God, I didn’t think I was going to sit here and cry and like, actually, I mean, but you have to go through it.

17:15 So all of that led up to me meeting him and then he on the other side of it was also trying to, he was manifest me and he was going through leadership skill development and, and all this stuff.

17:27 And the first time I walked into his apartment, I see these vision boards on the wall and that’s awesome.

17:31 I did a TikTok on it and he had a huge picture of a diamond engagement ring on one of them.

17:35 And I said, oh my God, he’s like, yeah, I’ve been praying for you and wanting to find you for years.

17:43 Like, yeah, blown away.

17:45 Like, what guy has this?

17:47 Like, we’re in total alignment.

17:50 I mean, I knew it before I even went in there but then I go in there.

17:52 It’s just confirmation after confirmation.

17:54 Yeah.

17:54 And then when, you know, you know, yeah, it goes back to that when, you know, you know, and, and it’s just like anything in life too.

18:00 It’s like we all, like, see all these people that are successful but like, they go through so much to get there and I’m guilty of that too.

18:06 I compare myself and I’m like, they have all these things.

18:09 I never think that they didn’t earn it or whatever.

18:11 But I just think, you know, they have all these things and like, I can never do that, you know, I think I could never do that.

18:16 And it’s like, yeah, I could, if I got my ass up and got self disciplined and just f*cking did it, you know what I mean?

18:22 It’s like, yeah.

18:24 Yeah, you actually can.

18:25 I’m the only one that’s keeping me from doing whatever it is in my heart.

18:29 And that goes for anyone, whether they want to find their loved one, they got to do the work, whether they want to get into shape, whether they want to lose weight whether they want to get a certification, whether they want to become whatever they want to become, right.

18:41 They got to do the work, you know, but it’s not like total work though.

18:44 So I don’t want to say that it’s like total work.

18:45 It’s the mental work.

18:47 It’s the mental work.

18:49 Not necessarily the physical.

18:51 Obviously, if you want to get buff, you gotta, like, you gotta, what is that?

18:55 Like, I won’t do bump.

18:57 You will, you know, you got to do the work but work out.

19:01 You really have to do the mental part before you can actually take the step to go work out.

19:07 Yes, I remember John Maxwell saying like if you look at a tree, you may not be able to chop it down in one day.

19:13 But if you take an ax and every day, you can like five times like eventually that trees will fall over.

19:19 And I was like like that is it like every day adds up.

19:24 Yeah, you just commit to yourself, you’re doing the thing and like go the outcome like it’s not that simple.

19:29 Feel the feelings, get your vibration up, imagine it and connect those two and you will see it, you will start to take inspired action, you will start to see the synchronicities, you will start to see that.

19:42 But getting there is the tricky part and it’s tricky, tricky.

19:46 And so it’s like, you know, people just have to also understand that it’s a process and not everybody can just let it go.

19:53 I swear, I’m like, I want to say let it go.

19:55 At first I was like, is it all nineties?

19:58 That’s it.

19:59 No, no.

20:01 Yeah.

20:01 I mean, it’s just compassion, just have compassion.

20:04 Let’s and mainly compassion for yourself, right?

20:06 Like, yeah, compassion for, for yourself and compassion and patience too.

20:10 And that’s the part I struggle with is like, OK, it’s not happening like today and especially with manifesting love.

20:16 I think a lot of just being in the singles scene, whatever, for a good amount of time.

20:22 I see that a lot like patience, you know, and I’m like, I tell people like God is never late and the timing has to be just right for you to manifest that for you to come together with that other person, they may be out of a relationship, they may be letting things go and you’re not emotionally ready.

20:39 Like Micah and I have talked about like, we would not have been right for each other five years ago, right at all.

20:44 But he had to learn things.

20:45 I had to learn things and, and we had to come together.

20:48 And so the patience part is the hardest for me and even in business and coaching and like, I wouldn’t have been ready for a graduate degree any other time in my life.

20:59 Otherwise you would have done it otherwise I would have done it and maybe you weren’t ready to go, you know, become a life coach is, well, I was that, yeah, I wouldn’t have understood it.

21:06 Yeah.

21:06 And so now it’s like the perfect time.

21:08 So you had to just be, like, all right, I had to be patient with myself, patient with the process.

21:13 Step into it.

21:14 For me.

21:14 That’s the hardest part.

21:15 I am not a patient person.

21:16 I never, I never have been.

21:19 Yeah.

21:19 Well, because it’s like we’re trained to have instant gratification.

21:22 You know, if it takes too long, then, ok, move on to the next thing.

21:25 Right?

21:25 But even as a kid I remember going, are we there yet?

21:27 Are we there yet?

21:28 How many more seconds?

21:29 We drove our parents crazy and we took our road trips and I’m like, oh, I’m so sorry, I’m like that.

21:35 Hey, well, that’s their fault for taking so many rides a kid.

21:38 Right.

21:39 Yeah, that’s difficult.

21:40 But yeah, there’s so much that we have to go through in order to get where we are today.

21:46 And it’s just I’m really trying to work on learning to enjoy all of it.

21:51 Yes.

21:51 Enjoy all of it.

21:53 The present moment.

21:54 Right.

21:54 Right.

21:54 Enjoy right now.

21:56 Right.

21:56 And I love that humanity is waking up to that and a lot of people are discovering the truth, which is fantastic because we kind of need that to survive as humanity.

22:06 Right.

22:06 Yeah.

22:07 Like enjoy the present moment.

22:10 Love where you are.

22:11 Enjoy the journey.

22:12 That’s all we have and we’re never gonna get there.

22:14 We’re never going to get there.

22:15 There’s always going to be some kind of struggle that we’re having.

22:19 So just learn to get through the different things.

22:23 Like you’re never going to reach perfection.

22:25 Like I think people think, oh, one day I’m never gonna have struggles and then everything is going to be hunky dory.

22:30 Definitely not this side of eternity.

22:33 Never.

22:34 I don’t think so.

22:35 Polarity is here.

22:36 Yeah.

22:37 For right now, polarity is here and we got to all like go through it together and just work through it together and don’t worry so much about what everybody else is doing, worry about what you’re doing and follow your own dreams and don’t waste your life.

22:50 Yes.

22:50 That’s the message to myself.

22:52 Girl.

22:52 Get up off your butt and don’t waste your life because dang you 50 and I’m like, I’m 50.

23:00 What?

23:01 You better shut your mouth, girl like, right.

23:03 How do you get here so fast?

23:05 Yeah, that’s a whole other episode.

23:06 Oh, right.

23:07 That’s the title.

23:08 That is, that is.

23:10 Thank you so much for joining me today, Richelle.

23:12 I had so much fun here in my house.

23:14 That’s so cool.

23:15 I love sitting here with the Tascam just looking at you, you’re looking at me and we’re just sharing our stories and our journey and our processing and how we’ve had compassion on ourselves and all the things that we’ve learned.

23:26 And now we’re so happy and then sometimes we’re not happy, but we’re still like enjoying all of it.

23:30 And we know that there’s a lot more to come and that there’s a lot that we’re here to do.

23:36 And the biggest thing is just to have that joy.

23:39 Absolutely.

23:40 I loved it.

23:40 Loved being here with you.

23:41 Thank you so much until we meet again.

23:44 All right.

23:45 See you next time.

23:46 Thank you for joining me today on You Are the Magic Pill.

23:50 My hope is that you leave this podcast feeling better about yourself, inspired, activated and ready to swallow your fears to realize your dreams.

24:01 I would be honored if you would leave me a five star review over in iTunes each week.

24:05 I’ll randomly choose one person to win some.

24:08 You Are the Magic Pill swag.

24:10 Make sure you add your name to the review and I’ll reach out to you if you’re the winner, I really appreciate you spending your time with me today.

24:17 Be sure to pop over to youarethemagicpill.com for past episodes and more gifts to help you wake up and realize that you are the magic pill and you can change it all to have it all.

Episode #44: Welcome to You Are the Magic Pill, I’m your host Victoria, thank you so much for joining me. Today I am so excited because I’m bringing back my bestie Richele Batt to talk about red flags in dating and relationships. We talk about addressing the issues that you know are there, and then when they come up, seeing what the response from the other person is, and if it gets addressed by them. If they care to change something, or maybe if you’re just not a match, and trusting your intuition, yourself and your gut feeling.

Ready? Listen in…

SHOWNOTES:

•  Yeah, and so it’s about loving yourself enough to know your value and to leave your situation when you know it’s not good for you, or not getting into a situation that you know is a huge red flag. There’s a couple of funny memes that I’ve seen that are hilarious one is perfect for Valentine’s day, because this guy is holding a dozen red flags and she goes, ‘Oh a dozen red flags, I love him so much’, and then there’s another one where he says ‘Good morning beautiful’. And she says, ‘Take me off rotation’.  (8:05)

•  When that happens, I think is a very important to know what to do. So I think a lot of times people don’t do anything because they don’t know what to do, they either cut bait and go or they don’t do anything. So I think the important thing is to tell people what do you do at that point. Well, that’s where communication skills come in, you have to know how to open your mouth and speak. And you know what? It may be a little scary to communicate with someone, especially someone you only just started knowing. I’m like, Listen, first of all, you have to have healthy boundaries. And you have to know what those are. If your boundary is, I need to be respected, like say someone stood you up on a date or something like that. That’s probably a boundary. You carve out your time for that person, they decide the last minute they’re not going or something, and they act like it’s no big deal, that’s a red flag. And it’s something that needs to be addressed now. (12:40)

•  There’s so much integrity in realizing, Okay, we’re not a match. I tell people, ‘You’re not dating to make it a match, you’re dating to see if it is one, and so even when you go through break ups and such, and I’ve had episodes about breakups, sometimes you complete a relationship and it’s about the two people realizing, Okay, this is not working, this is not going to be… We’re not compatible for whatever reason, and sometimes they’re very difficult. But as long as you do look and realize, Okay, there’s lessons to be learned from here in this relationship, and you take those to heart and you go on in the future and say, Okay, now I know what I need and what I want, and hopefully the other person does too, and you help each other grow… What is better than that? I mean, that’s what we all want to do. So you’re not forcing it to be a match… I think some people get in a relationship and think I have to make this work, I have to… I have to… And they’re just like, beating their head against the wall. What’s the point of that?  (19:33)

•   I was married for 20 years and you were married for a long time, we have an our story from it, right? We have our experience from it, so do our spouses are ex’s. They have their story and what they learned from it, neither is wrong or right to be honest. It’s what we both needed. But whenever I was married, my life felt like, my soul that like, I was like dead. So I felt like my life was being sucked out of me, and I don’t blame that on my ex, it’s just the relationship wasn’t meant to continue. He didn’t suck the life out of me, it was the relationship that was no longer serving me…or him. And so I had to make the decision, I had to be strong enough and listen to that gut feeling, listen to my inner voice saying, ‘You are not supposed to be here anymore, get out. (22:44)

CONNECT WITH RICHELE:

Visit my website: CoachingCloset.com
Connect on free Facebook Group: CoachingClosetConnect.com
Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/607035253196498
 

CONNECT WITH VICTORIA:

Website: YouAretheMagicPill.com
Facebook: facebook.com/youarethemagicpill

Episode 34: Welcome back to You Are the Magic Pill, I’m your host Victoria. Today I want to talk to you about that one time that I dated an alcoholic. So, I was dating this person, and everything seemed to be going really well, and I did kinda notice a few things that were a little strange, maybe red flags, but I continued to go out with this person. Then after about a couple of months, I was just like, I don’t think this is the right fit for me, and I proceeded to break up. That didn’t go over very well, and that’s when I realized that this person was actually an alcoholic and I had no idea, I really didn’t know, which is kind of strange, but I didn’t because I guess there’s different types of alcoholics and he was more of a binge drinker. While he was with me, he didn’t really go off into a binge period until I broke up with him, and then I realized that that’s what was happening because he was kind of verbally abusive to me through text and phone calls. I decided to continue the relationship because I just felt still connected to him and that I was supposed to continue the relationship, it didn’t feel right in my soul to let go just yet.

Listen in…

SHOWNOTES:

•     Everybody has their own own way that they’re going to go through what they need to go through in order to find their way back to themselves. You just have to let it play out and be supportive and not so judgmental and not projecting what you think they should do because of your perception and what you would choose to do because you might not need what that person needs. In whatever particular situation they’re in, whether it be a relationship or a job or anything, you just might not… You might not need that, but they do, to jot them, to wake them up to who they truly are or to see the shadow within themselves. (4:14)

•    I didn’t understand all the projections and what people say and the triggers and how that’s a shadow within me and how relationships help us see the things that we need to see about ourselves as individuals. And it’s there for that purpose, to help us grow and sometimes push us, and honestly, this particular relationship was like the final piece that I needed to really help me to go within and find that power and belief and love for myself. I had already gotten to that level of where I love myself and I had confidence and I felt really good, but there was just that one little piece left, (7:04)

•   I’ve learned what I need to learn, I’m okay, I can break free now, I can walk away and I’m okay, and he’ll be okay, he will finish out his path, his journey, exactly how he needs to. We came in to one another’s lives to show us what we needed to see. You either see it and integrate it and move on to the next level, or you break free from that moment or that relationship, and you repeat it again, until you get judged again to try to go within, to see it again, and you keep doing it over and over until you finally, like me in this particular situation, because it’s not my first toxic relationship. (10:19)

•    My message today is just how I dated an alcoholic, or why that happened. I have zero regrets about it, I am thankful and grateful that I went through that experience and I care about this person because he played his part in my life, and he showed me what I needed to see in order to rise up and become more whole and to love myself even more, To realize who I truly am, so for that I’m grateful and it allowed me to attract the new person in my life that is on the frequency that I’m on now. If you’re in an abusive relationship or a toxic relationship, know that you don’t have to stay there, that you can learn what you need to learn and then break free when it’s the right time, but just trust the process and realize that you brought that into your life and that you can also release yourself from it. (14:15) 

CONNECT WITH VICTORIA:

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Episode 23: Welcome back to You Are the Magic Pill, I’m your host Victoria. I’m excited that you’re here with me today because I have a very special guest, Scott Bloom. Scott is a veteran comedian and television personality who has built a reputation as the “go-to” choice for business humor, having hosted hundreds of events for companies such as FedEx, Ford, IBM, MetLife, PepsiCo, Pfizer, and Verizon. In addition to his work as a highly respected emcee and comedic keynote speaker, he has had a successful career in television. Scott has been featured on Comedy Central numerous times, and was the host of his own weekly VH1 series. Scott recently co-hosted a national simulcast of the Grammy Awards from the Palace Theater.  He currently lives in Los Angeles.

Ready? Listen…

CONNECT WITH SCOTT:

Stasia’s Website: ScottBloomConnects.com
Social Media: @ScottBloomConnects

CONNECT WITH VICTORIA:

Visit my website: www.youarethemagicpill.com
Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/youarethemagicpill

Episode 19: On today’s episode, I’m talking to you about a topic that makes me uncomfortable, but not too much, I’m pretty much an open book. I want to take a look at how we sometimes use sex as a way to feel wanted, desired, loved, or validated.

Ready? Listen in…

IN THIS EPISODE:

•    I thought by having sex basically, that that would bring me love, and in all honesty, every time that I did have sex, it was me thinking that I was going to be with this person and that we were going to be in love, and that if I did this, then that would create that love, and as you probably know how the story goes… (2:07)

•    I know that when I experience those relationships are those moments of intimacy, and then it just leaves you with still that void and you don’t get anything out of it and accept disappointment and more void. I guess at the time to regret and guilt and shame, all those terrible things that we tell ourselves associated with sex. (3:33)

•    I’m here to tell you, is that we each have our own journeys and just because your journey is not the same as my journey, or the same as somebody else’s, doesn’t mean that it’s a wrong journey, it means it’s the right journey for you. (5:33)

•   I’m just speaking from my experience that I used to think those thoughts about myself, and I no longer do that because I know that it’s made me the person I am today, and I’m really looking forward to actually experiencing that now that I love myself. (7:49)

CONNECT WITH VICTORIA:

Visit my website: www.youarethemagicpill.com
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Episode 17: Welcome back to You Are the Magic Pill. Today, I’m excited because I have a very good friend on today, Richele Batt. Listen in to our conversation as we discuss relationships, unconditional love, red flags and should you stay or should you go?

Listen in…

IN THIS EPISODE:

•    So a lot of people think you can’t love someone and let them go, but the truth is, with our divorce rate, obviously that’s not the case, and relationships do end. It’s not because of a lack of love, many times it’s because of the toxicity of the relationship and is it healthy anymore? Many times it’s just people realize that it’s not good for them to stay and they have to give it up for them to love themselves the most and for them to be healthy. (1:28)

• Many times, if you could get to a point in your life where you just don’t feel like you even know who you are, because you’ve become an extension of this other person. Like, who is Richele? I got to a point where I was like, What do I even like? Because I don’t know, I’m just an extension of this person, I’m his wife is… I’m their mom. What do I like? I don’t know, I’m just an extension or I’m only allowed? That’s a really key word there, I’m only allowed to do these certain things. (4:17)

• That’s where you get into power and control, where one person holds all the power and the other person, it’s like you’re dimming yourself down, you’re giving your power away, you’re not speaking up for yourself, and you’re living in fear, and you’re walking on egg shells and you’re just like, Okay, you’re just really doing anything you can to avoid triggering that person into anger or rage, and that’s a huge red flag that you are in a very toxic situation. That’s when it’s like the relationship going way down. (6:39)

• Until I started getting sick, I really just didn’t want to leave. But yeah, it does happen. So if you’re in that position and you’re like, What’s wrong with me? Why am I sick? And your relationship isn’t good, you might want to consider that it’s your stress level, it’s the relationship, so that needs to be a red flag as well. (13:26)

• Yeah, I’m at a level of self-love that I never had before, and I just love teaching people that. That’s where you have to start, and it just brings tears to my eyes, it really does. It’s an honor to help people. It really is. To absolutely love it. It’s just my passion. (18:19)

ABOUT RICHELE BATT:

Richele is a coach, YouTube TV host and soon to be podcaster. Her passion is  to help you find your beauty from the inside out.

​Richele wants to give you the power you need to understand that at the end of the day YOU are the essence and source of what happens in your life.  You deserve to be confident in who YOU ARE. 

“Those Who Do Not Learn History Are Doomed To Repeat It …’ Learn YOUR history, embrace it and STOP repeating patterns that did not SERVE YOU in the past.

CONNECT WITH RICHELE:

Richele’s Website: https://coachingcloset.com
Richele’s YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com
Richele’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com
Richele’s Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/richele_livejoy
Richele’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/coachingcloset
 

CONNECT WITH VICTORIA:

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IN THIS EPISODE:

Episode 14: Welcome back to You Are the Magic Pill. Today, I have a very special guest with me to have a conversation about relationships. His name is Daniel Herrold, and he is a divorced dad of three daughters who lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Daniel is the co-creator of Divorced Over 40, an online community of divorce men and women in their 40s and 50s, which provides content and community to this audience. Daniel is very inspirational, and I just love his insight on what it’s like to be divorced over 40 and being single again. We’re going to have a little chat about all of this, I invite you to listen in…

• I would like to think that I’ve changed a lot since my divorce, and I think that, and I speak to that, not only through the Divorce Over 40 community, but also on my personal Instagram, about what I believe is a need for all of us to really self-reflect as well as kinda go through this self-discovery, or this rediscovery process, as we kinda call it .(2:47)

• It’s really helped in navigating someone through their divorce journey, whether they’re in the middle of it or they’re coming out of it from a healing standpoint, and I think that a lot of us is when we get divorced, we feel like we’re on an island, and the circumstances that we’re experiencing are unlike any others. And some of them are very toxic and painful, and sometimes some kind of breeze through it, but nonetheless, when you hear stories of other people that have gone through the same situations as you did, it’s kind of like an aha moment where it’s very therapeutic for people. (6:08)

• And so what I’ve tried to do is, at least, I pass along whatever wisdom I can when it comes to data on how to approach it and make it something that’s a little bit more positive and fulfilling than just all the negative stuff that you keep hearing about, and how people get easily triggered by behaviors of people that they’re talking to. (8:46)

• Even though you’re more open to having a day just to get to meet someone, I think you still, at the same time, tighten your filter a bit to say, I’m protective of my time, and if someone isn’t aligned with me, I don’t want to waste my time on that person. And so I think there’s a lot of benefits from taking that stance and dating. (13:25)

• Here are the four or five things that are absolutely non-negotiables, it could be religious, what your faith is, and whether or not that aligns to someone. It could be stage of life. As an example, when I first started dating after divorce, I was dating a lot of younger women, and many of which had never had kids, and I learned pretty quickly, I don’t want kid. My youngest graduates in a year from high school, and I don’t want to raise kids for another 20 years. and so that became a non-negotiable for me for in that I don’t need to be dating women that are looking to have kids. (18:50)

CONNECT WITH DANIEL:

Webite: https://divorcedover40.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/daniel.herrold
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/divorcedover40
Twitter: https://twitter.com/DivorcedOver40

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