Episode 35: Welcome back to You Are the Magic Pill, I’m your host Victoria. On today’s episode I want to encourage you to follow your own heart’s desire, and to know that that’s exactly what you need to do, try not to compare yourself, try not to judge yourself according to other people’s standards and other people’s desires that they want in their life. You take your own path, you do what’s right for you and I have promised you, you’re going to come up out on top, you’re going to rise up. It’s will be amazing and you’re going to be exactly where you need to be. You be you boo!

Listen in…

SHOWNOTES:

• We have the answers within ourselves, but we tend to look outward for those answers, and we seek advice from so many other people. But what we don’t realize is that the people we seek advice are on a different journey, while it’s okay to talk about things with other people. It’s also best to probably sit with yourself and to ask yourself those questions and to see what comes to your mind or what plays out in your reality, what synchronicity happens. Or the things that you start to observe because you asked to see certain things or you are seeking something, then you find it, right? (1:43)

•    And I’ve kinda touched on this before, but it’s really been weighing on my heart lately to talk about it a little bit more in depth, because it’s like we ask other people for this particular advice, but then they give us advice, but it’s based on what their reality is right? So even though we are in this world together, we’re not in the same reality, and we don’t have the same perception because we each have our own upbringing, we each have our own things that we were taught that are true or not true for ourselves, but it is what we were taught. The key is really to listen to yourself, to follow your own guidance and your own intuition, and I’m not saying not ask people stuff, but just do know that it isn’t necessarily going to be the best advice. Because they’re telling you based on what they would do. (2:33)

•   Are you trying to create that in your reality based on that you think that you’re supposed to do this? Because other people are doing this, because society thinks you should do it? Or, are you doing this because you want to? You know what I mean? Because you desire to… So that’s the questions I have to ask myself. Whenever I’m making decisions, it’s like, Okay, how do you feel about that inside… Does it ignite you? Does it bring peace to you or am I pushing it? Am I trying to make this happen based on somebody else’s beliefs, based on somebody else’s journey, based on what I’ve been taught, so that’s where you really have to know thyself, right, because when you know thy self, then you can feel and be able to be in tune with what’s right for your personal path, and it’s just been really such a cool experience to finally see that for myself and to be like, It’s okay if you don’t do a certain thing that other people think you should do. (5:29)

•    And if you don’t know what that is, that’s where you have to start spending time with yourself, because if you’re always following the leader, you’re always following the guidance of other people, then maybe you’re living in their shadows and you’re not truly seeing who you are. So, you gotta take that step to find out who you are, right? If you don’t know… I didn’t use to know that, I’m slowly still discovering that because I’ve always kinda lived in the shadows of other people, and I don’t regret it, it’s fine, it’s just part of my process of this life and part of my experience, and now I’m just kind of realizing that I’m just kind of discovering who I am and what ignites and just lights me up. I’m starting to take different risks to do different things that I didn’t know I would even be doing. (7:26) 

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Episode 27: Welcome back to You Are the Magic Pill, I’m your host Victoria. Today I want to talk about, how sometimes when we people watch, we tend to start criticizing others or start analyzing them. Like, why do they have that on, or why are they wearing their hair like that. I just want to bring in a little awareness to how we look at others, and how that is a reflection of ourselves. Let’s remember we’re all apart of the one, and we’re all here having a human experience, so let’s all just embrace ourselves and stop freaking judging one another.

Ready to hear more? Let’s go…

IN THIS EPISODE:

•     I used to look at people and think, Why do they wear those clothes, why do they show on their butt, or why are they showing their breasts or, why are they doing that? But you know what, I did that because I was projecting, because I felt insecure about my body, my body image. (2:20)

•     I was feeling insecure when I saw people wearing clothing like that, and so that was just me projecting my insecurities, as a shadow within myself, that I’ve now learned about and I have been working on loving all parts of me and loving myself exactly as I am, and if I want a different body image,  I create that. (2:37)

•     The next time you’re out and you question why somebody is wearing a certain outfit, or why they have their hair purple, or why they have a nose piercing, or have… I’m trying to think, why they do whatever they do, then you’re judging them. (3:42)

•     We’re all here having a human experiences, we’re all just embracing ourselves, trying to find ourselves, and I think it would be way more fun if we would just stop freaking judging one another. (4:34)

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Episode 24: June is Vitiligo Awareness Month, and since I have Vitiligo, this is my current reality. I want to be an advocate and bring awareness to what it is and how it affects people. I’m happy that it is being talked about, because hopefully it can help people to not have to suffer so much from it, and then shift perception and know that we’re all different and we’re all made in the image of God, unique in our own special ways.

Listen in…

IN THIS EPISODE:

•    I used to look at my skin and just be like, Why can’t I just be normal? Can I just have normal skin where I could just wear shorts and not have to wear spray tan all the time and cover it up, I never felt comfortable. (4:07)

• So the day she left me, it left me, the vitiligo, the stress and the anxiety and the hatred and the discussed and the sadness, it just left. And from that moment on, I’ve just embraced it and thankful for it now because I can help other people realize that sometimes we get lost in our minds and we think that something are so terrible and it’s really not. (5:34)

• Many things that we compare and look at in our society has an image that we all tend to think the way that we be, but it’s not necessarily the truth, each of us is the truth. And so that’s what I’m here to share with you, if you’re having some issues or you think that there’s something wrong with you, just know that there’s so much more right with you. (9:02)

• Guard your mind, focus on what you want, try to love all parts of you and embrace what you can’t change. Enhance what you can, and just really try to take those steps daily to live a happier, more joyful life by loving yourself. And then what’s going to happen is when you start doing that, then you’re going to start taking more steps in the direction of more confidence. (12:21)

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Episode 23: Welcome back to You Are the Magic Pill, I’m your host Victoria. I’m excited that you’re here with me today because I have a very special guest, Scott Bloom. Scott is a veteran comedian and television personality who has built a reputation as the “go-to” choice for business humor, having hosted hundreds of events for companies such as FedEx, Ford, IBM, MetLife, PepsiCo, Pfizer, and Verizon. In addition to his work as a highly respected emcee and comedic keynote speaker, he has had a successful career in television. Scott has been featured on Comedy Central numerous times, and was the host of his own weekly VH1 series. Scott recently co-hosted a national simulcast of the Grammy Awards from the Palace Theater.  He currently lives in Los Angeles.

Ready? Listen…

CONNECT WITH SCOTT:

Stasia’s Website: ScottBloomConnects.com
Social Media: @ScottBloomConnects

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Visit my website: www.youarethemagicpill.com
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Episode 19: On today’s episode, I’m talking to you about a topic that makes me uncomfortable, but not too much, I’m pretty much an open book. I want to take a look at how we sometimes use sex as a way to feel wanted, desired, loved, or validated.

Ready? Listen in…

IN THIS EPISODE:

•    I thought by having sex basically, that that would bring me love, and in all honesty, every time that I did have sex, it was me thinking that I was going to be with this person and that we were going to be in love, and that if I did this, then that would create that love, and as you probably know how the story goes… (2:07)

•    I know that when I experience those relationships are those moments of intimacy, and then it just leaves you with still that void and you don’t get anything out of it and accept disappointment and more void. I guess at the time to regret and guilt and shame, all those terrible things that we tell ourselves associated with sex. (3:33)

•    I’m here to tell you, is that we each have our own journeys and just because your journey is not the same as my journey, or the same as somebody else’s, doesn’t mean that it’s a wrong journey, it means it’s the right journey for you. (5:33)

•   I’m just speaking from my experience that I used to think those thoughts about myself, and I no longer do that because I know that it’s made me the person I am today, and I’m really looking forward to actually experiencing that now that I love myself. (7:49)

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IN THIS EPISODE:

Episode 14: Welcome back to You Are the Magic Pill. Today, I have a very special guest with me to have a conversation about relationships. His name is Daniel Herrold, and he is a divorced dad of three daughters who lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Daniel is the co-creator of Divorced Over 40, an online community of divorce men and women in their 40s and 50s, which provides content and community to this audience. Daniel is very inspirational, and I just love his insight on what it’s like to be divorced over 40 and being single again. We’re going to have a little chat about all of this, I invite you to listen in…

• I would like to think that I’ve changed a lot since my divorce, and I think that, and I speak to that, not only through the Divorce Over 40 community, but also on my personal Instagram, about what I believe is a need for all of us to really self-reflect as well as kinda go through this self-discovery, or this rediscovery process, as we kinda call it .(2:47)

• It’s really helped in navigating someone through their divorce journey, whether they’re in the middle of it or they’re coming out of it from a healing standpoint, and I think that a lot of us is when we get divorced, we feel like we’re on an island, and the circumstances that we’re experiencing are unlike any others. And some of them are very toxic and painful, and sometimes some kind of breeze through it, but nonetheless, when you hear stories of other people that have gone through the same situations as you did, it’s kind of like an aha moment where it’s very therapeutic for people. (6:08)

• And so what I’ve tried to do is, at least, I pass along whatever wisdom I can when it comes to data on how to approach it and make it something that’s a little bit more positive and fulfilling than just all the negative stuff that you keep hearing about, and how people get easily triggered by behaviors of people that they’re talking to. (8:46)

• Even though you’re more open to having a day just to get to meet someone, I think you still, at the same time, tighten your filter a bit to say, I’m protective of my time, and if someone isn’t aligned with me, I don’t want to waste my time on that person. And so I think there’s a lot of benefits from taking that stance and dating. (13:25)

• Here are the four or five things that are absolutely non-negotiables, it could be religious, what your faith is, and whether or not that aligns to someone. It could be stage of life. As an example, when I first started dating after divorce, I was dating a lot of younger women, and many of which had never had kids, and I learned pretty quickly, I don’t want kid. My youngest graduates in a year from high school, and I don’t want to raise kids for another 20 years. and so that became a non-negotiable for me for in that I don’t need to be dating women that are looking to have kids. (18:50)

CONNECT WITH DANIEL:

Webite: https://divorcedover40.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/daniel.herrold
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/divorcedover40
Twitter: https://twitter.com/DivorcedOver40

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IN THIS EPISODE:

Episode 13: I’m excited because I haven’t had a guest on here to talk to you with me until today. I have my friend Withers with me, we’ve known each other for a while now, but we’ve never actually knew that we had something in common. I’m going to let Withers tell you her story, because it is really cool. I was as looking on Instagram about a week or two ago, and I saw this video, and I don’t watch a lot of videos on Instagram or tiktok or anything like that, but I decided to watch it. And so I started listening to her story and she started to share something that was super vulnerable and personal to her, and I was like, Oh my gosh, that reminds me of something that I struggle with, but I’ve actually not shared on the podcast just yet. I want to touch on that a little bit today, and share with you how my story relates to Withers’. But it’s more about her story today.

Ready? Listen in…

• And you know the thing is, I would say with scars, there’s all different types, and there’s emotional scars that we’ve been through, there’s physical scars that everybody can see, which maybe is easier for me because they see it. Emotional scars people can’t see and they don’t understand the pain,you’ve been through. A physical scar, you wear around and they see, Well, she survived something. (5:19)

• When I stood in front of a mirror, a long story short, and I was like, guess what? This is me in a bathing suit, I’m pale, I don’t have any make-up on. When I get really pale, my scars turn purple on my legs, and my father said he’d never even really seen it, I’d been covering it my whole life. He told me that last night, he said, I didn’t really notice that, you’re really good at it, you’re really good at hiding it. (8:09)

• When you focus on what you think is so wrong with yourself, then you lose what’s so right. And I just believe that whole-heartedly. Because for myself, I lost a lot of joy, I lost a lot of fun times because I didn’t want to wear shorts, I didn’t wanna go to the lake, I didn’t want to go out in the sun. It’s like I limited myself and I didn’t enjoy my life. (11:25)

• I dated several guys and I was always looking. I thought my purpose was to find my perfect match. I was looking everywhere and I wanted children, blah, blah, and it occurred to me I have to be able to bring into the situation what I’m asking from a situation. That was the first thing that occurred to me. Secondly, what occurred to me was I had to love myself. It was not until I loved myself. I looked at myself in the mirror and I was like, You know, you’re good looking for these reasons, because you’re a good person, because you’re good, you don’t have to be a beauty queen or Miss Arkansas. But when I started loving myself, I actually volunteered for Big Brothers, Big Sisters. Eliza is my little sis, and seeing her world and seeing what she goes through, and then comparing it and realizing how lucky I was and realizing the capacity I had to do things for others and to stand up for them and not be ashamed and just truly focusing on myself, then it came to me. I met my husband. (17:23)

• People want to see your weaknesses, you think that people want to look at you on Facebook and Instagram and all those things and say, Oh my God, our life is perfect, and blah blah. That’s not how people connect, that’s not how people love you. They love you when you’re honest and you’re like, I’m hurting, or this happened to me, and you can relate on that level. And that is a true friendship, that is something that lasts forever. (21:22)

CONNECT WITH WITHERS:

Withers’ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/withers.turner
Withers’ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/withers_turner_bolin
Withers’ Video: https://www.instagram.com/stories/highlights/17874572408219138

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Episode #12: Hi and welcome back to You Are the Magic Pill. I am super excited that you’re with me today, tuning in. And I want to tell you about what really sucks. What sucks is going through your whole life, not loving yourself like you should. It sucks to always compare yourself to others, it sucks to never see the good in yourself, even though your friends and family do, hell even strangers do for some crazy reason. Sometimes you just don’t see the wonderful qualities about yourself, you get lost in the comparisonitis, And Man, that really sucks so badly. One day I had that a-ha moment that people talk about, and I realized that I’ve been lying to myself, I’ve been thinking that I was happy and thankful, but not actually living it or feeling it. When I look back at it, and this is really sad, for some things, I was happy and grateful, but not for the most important thing, the most important thing was myself.

Listen in to hear more…

IN THIS EPISODE:

• Why did I choose to say that to myself? That seriously is jacked up. And I’m just saying, please don’t do that, don’t do that to yourself and rob yourself joy like I did. If you do have that negative self-talk and aren’t truly in love with yourself, then make a decision like I did, to say enough is enough. (2:54)

• Tell ourselves every day, the same story over and over, until it gets to the point that it becomes a habit. And habits are hard to break, but not impossible. The strength to cut yourself loose is found within yourself. Stop looking for someone to help you rise up, nothing will truly save you, accept you. (4:15)

• It was overnight, all of a sudden it was like I saw myself, I became aware of who I truly am, and all of the negativity just faded away. It was no longer a habit because I broke that habit, I decided to take daily action. (5:25)

• Try to pull yourself up, try to look at the good, try to find the good, try to see your good, and eventually, if you do that long enough, it’s going to shift. Your perception is going to shift what you’re seeing, you’re no longer going to see that negativity, you’re going to see the positive things about you, and it’s going to be such a beautiful experience. (6:39)

WAYS TO CONNECT:

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Episode #11: Hi and welcome back to You Are the Magic Pill. I am so excited that you’re here with me today. I call this episode, don’t tell me what to do, because I don’t know about you, but when someone tells me what to do, I just don’t really like it. And I think that I know why I don’t like it, it’s because it triggers me a little bit. I think it’s because of my childhood and my upbringing. I was the youngest in my family, and so I was constantly told what to do, and I never really had to make a decision, because all my decisions were basically made for me. Throughout much of my life for me. I lacked the confidence to think that I could make a decision. I let other people guide me and live my life. I was just like this person going about and doing what people told me to do. So I think… Now, when people try to tell me what to do, I’m like, Oh yeah, I don’t like that.

Listen in to hear more…

IN THIS EPISODE:

•   Basically, I got married at 19 because I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t believe in myself. I bought into the fact that I would never make it out of my own. That  I would never be anything. And that this is what I should do. (3:00)

•    We have these experiences that happen in our lives, and then when we make those choices and we have things happen, then that allows us to have that contrast and then we’re like, Okay, I’m not going to to do that again, I learned what I needed to learn. (4:48)

•    If you just kinda let other people guide you, let other people determine your future, take a pause and think about that and really feel what’s going on in your body, and if it feels right, that’s great. But if it doesn’t feel right, and you feel like you’ve been inserted into somebody else’s life or into a job, or into whatever it is you’re doing, that you feel like that it doesn’t feel like you belong, or it doesn’t feel like what was meant for you. Then take a pause and think about it. (7:39)

•     So we all need to just go within, you need to search within your own heart and go that path, go that narrow path, and that is where you find your bliss, that’s what you’ll find your happiness. (9:08)

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Episode #8. Hi, and welcome back to You Are the Magic Pill. Today I thought that we should talk a little bit more about confidence, because a lot of people struggle with it. Having confidence really does matter, because what affects one person affects another. You make a difference, and when you have confidence, you show up ready to do this thing called life.

“Look inside yourself; everything that you want, you already are.” … Achieve some perfection yourself, so that you may not fall into sorrow by seeing the perfection in others.” ~ Rumi

IN THIS EPISODE:

•   You’re getting up and you’re taking action, and you’re becoming your best version, and you’re making a difference on this planet, you’re becoming more confident, because you’re choosing to go within. (2:30)

•   I wouldn’t do it if it’s causing you grief or causing you to compare too much, find that special-ness that you have within you, run with that, follow your bliss, follow your heart. (5:15)

•   Look at others and see, Wow, that person’s awesome. Look at what they’re doing, if it triggers you, then maybe you see yourself doing that too, maybe you desire to be doing something like that, then go down that path and explore it. (6:07)

•  I challenge you today, find that within yourself and go out in the world and make a difference, you’ve got this, I believe in you. Now go Believe in yourself,(7:27)

WAYS TO CONNECT:

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