Episode #48: Welcome to You Are the Magic Pill, I’m your host Victoria, thank you so much for joining me, I’m excited to start a new season with you. Today I want to share something that I wrote a few months ago. I was going through a tough time, I was getting really depressed and I this just flowed out of me. It was the wildest thing, when I was writing what I’m about to read to you, I was typing it out on my phone and it was just coming down, one word at a time, super fast. And then it started to slow down, and I could see the word almost in my mind and then I would hear it, drop in like, the dog ran down the road, it dropped one word at a time and I was just seeing it happen while I was doing it. It was so cool, I have never done that before. But the message was something that I needed to hear, and perhaps you too.

Listen in…

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

0:03 Thanks for tuning in to You Are the Magic Pill.

0:06 If you are ready to realize that you are the magic pill, then come on a heroic journey with me to remember who you truly are to activate that power found within.

0:18 Hi and welcome back to You Are the Magic Pill.

0:23 I am sharing with you today.

0:26 Something that I actually wrote a while ago.

0:30 I wrote this, I think about three months ago.

0:33 I’m not for sure, but something like that, I was going through a really tough time again.

0:41 I was getting really depressed and I wrote this because it just flowed out of me.

0:48 It was the wildest thing when I was writing what I’m about to read to you.

0:52 It was like so hard to explain, but I was like, just writing it so fast and I was one thumbing it.

0:59 That’s how I text with one thumb.

1:01 How do you text?

1:02 I text with one thumb.

1:04 My boyfriend thinks that’s so strange, but I’m actually really fast.

1:08 I’m probably faster than some two thumb textures anyway, that’s what I do.

1:13 I’m a one thumb and I was just going so fast writing it, typing it out on my phone, on my notes and it was just coming down like one word at a time super fast and then it started to slow down.

1:27 Then I just started to like, see the word almost in my mind and then I would write it out.

1:33 Not really see it, I guess, hear it, I would hear it and it would just like, drop in like, you know, the dog ran down the road, you know, it just like, dropped one word at a time and I was just like, seeing it happen while I was doing it.

1:50 And it was so cool.

1:51 I have ever done that before.

1:52 That’s what I call a major download alert.

1:57 And it was awesome.

1:58 And I can’t wait to do that again.

2:00 Kind of fell out of the zone after that.

2:02 It’s been quite a while since I’ve been back on here.

2:05 And so I’m happy to be back with you, share my message and I hope that this helps you.

2:12 I often struggle with getting lost in my mind and sometimes not finding my way back for quite some time.

2:20 It feels like I don’t know if you ever get like that, but it seems like I often do over the last, like my whole life anyway.

2:30 So here we go.

2:31 I’m just gonna read what I wrote.

2:33 You know, I like to do that.

2:34 So here it goes.

2:37 Do you ever get lost in your mind?

2:39 So lost that you are not sure you will find your way back.

2:44 I get so lost in my thoughts of, why am I here?

2:48 Why did I do nothing with my life?

2:50 Why can’t I do something now?

2:53 Why do I feel so sad?

2:55 Why do I struggle every single day?

2:58 And why does my life not represent what’s in my true heart’s desire?

3:03 Why do I know what I need to do?

3:06 But yet I can’t seem to do it.

3:08 Why can’t I just f*cking do it?

3:11 I get mad that I’m not who I need to be or think I should be.

3:15 I get so upset when I think about the time I’ve wasted, when I compare my worth to the money I see in my reality then it’s definitely of the same value.

3:25 I feel so unworthy.

3:27 But yet I know I’m not deep down.

3:30 I know I have value and worth, but I can’t seem to hold on to that feeling for very long.

3:36 I spiral down to the depths of hell.

3:39 I know I’m in control but am I really f*ck?

3:43 I want to say enough is enough and I actually do.

3:47 But then here comes f*cking gloom and doom again.

3:51 When I think about myself as a child.

3:53 Then all I really remember is the bad sh*t.

3:56 The trauma that little girl was so full of anger.

4:00 I always felt like I didn’t belong and I still feel this way and I don’t get it this is making me sad to read this.

4:07 Now, honestly, I’m little teary eyed because, oh, yeah, I’m still working through some stuff here.

4:14 Is this a program that I can’t override?

4:18 Is it something that I can’t say enough is enough?

4:21 Do you ever feel this lost?

4:23 I’m not the only one many have this control over our minds sometimes.

4:28 I think who might be the controller of what pours into my mind and system.

4:33 I try to flood out the unwanted thoughts with the desired thoughts but seem to fail more often than not.

4:39 I’m like that crab trying to get out but I keep falling back down.

4:43 Oh Man, comparison is the death of me every single f*cking day.

4:48 And that is like so true.

4:51 Comparison is the total death of me.

4:55 I see others on social media living their best life and being so amazing and I’m just sitting here being nothing and I just think damn it, why do I let you kill me comparison?

5:08 Like why do I let you kill me?

5:11 That’s the question of the f*cking day.

5:13 I seriously want you to stop.

5:15 It’s not right for you to continually tell me sh*t things that you have to stop, stop torture and humanity.

5:22 You don’t own us anymore.

5:25 I felt this way my entire life and I’m really just realizing it, it’s like a roller coaster ride.

5:32 I’m up, then I’m down, then I’m up, then I’m down.

5:35 Do you ever feel this way?

5:37 I always ask myself, how do I make it stop?

5:41 How do I make that fucking voice in my head?

5:45 Shut up already.

5:47 How I’m drifting away slowly into the negative voice that haunts me day in and day out.

5:54 Please go away.

5:57 You do not serve me anymore.

5:59 I am the one who is in charge.

6:01 You are no longer welcome here.

6:03 So please go away, go away because you make me feel so terribly.

6:09 But you did do your job.

6:12 And for that, I thank you.

6:14 You allowed me to feel sorrow, sadness, depression, hopelessness, and all kinds of yucky sh*t.

6:20 Now, when the happy comes back to me, then I’ll be so thankful to allow it in the funny thing is I’m so grateful for everything in my life, the good, the bad, the ugly, but it doesn’t mean that the suffering has not been painful.

6:35 We all have some kind of suffering that is part of the program, part of being human or the mind is a powerful thing they say and they are right.

6:43 But the cool thing is each one of us is more powerful than the mind.

6:49 Our thoughts are not always our thoughts and you can become aware of your true thoughts.

6:55 When you do a body check, a body check is where you can determine how you are feeling.

7:00 Is your energy low or high.

7:03 My subconscious mind is constantly pouring in negative sh*it even though I truly don’t want it like I don’t want it to like I don’t, I’m like, stop already.

7:14 I said, go away.

7:15 I think it’s called like a generational curse.

7:18 It’s my choice if I break the curse or not.

7:21 It’s your choice too.

7:22 I often wonder if everyone had the feelings of hopelessness like I do sometimes when I first heard Jeremiah 29 11, a long time ago, my soul felt it.

7:33 That particular Bible verse made me tear up and cry.

7:36 I get why now for I know the plans I have for you plans to give you hope and a future when I can disconnect from what I was taught about myself, like when I meditate or go into nature or doing something that I love to do, I get connected to God, then all the hopelessness falls away.

8:00 It’s in those times that I realize I am way more than I thought I am made in the image of God.

8:07 And with my own imagination, I can create the images that I really want to see in my reality.

8:14 It’s through the visualization, meditation, whatever you wanna call it in my mind, when I’m in control, that allows the beauty within so that I can feel it too.

8:27 And then I connect those two and I can manifest that in my reality, I take my power back.

8:34 But sometimes I fall back into the negative thoughts that haunt me.

8:38 I go deep down again.

8:40 And I think how did I get here again when I know the truth?

8:45 It’s because I need to be disciplined, know thyself, master thyself, become a disciple to myself, just like anything in life, whether it’s working out, eating healthier or shifting your mindset.

8:57 It all takes discipline.

8:59 And that decision to become discipline is my choice and your choice.

9:03 All I have to do is so simple is just do the steps meditate, find the things that I love to do, go in that direction, feel the feeling and stay in that high vibe and believe in myself.

9:18 You know, I have an episode called, follow my list that you should check out.

9:22 It’s really good.

9:23 I’m gonna go enhance it a little bit, but it’s actually really good.

9:26 It was a download that I had another download.

9:29 So let me get back on track here.

9:31 So the question of the day is how, how do I make myself choose discipline?

9:35 Do I allow the pain and suffering to dictate my life and my reality by spiraling down further and further into the depths of hell?

9:43 Or do I remember that it’s all part of the game that I’m playing?

9:47 We weren’t given the rules of the game of life.

9:49 But guess what?

9:50 There are rules to this game?

9:53 You have had them with you your whole life just like I have, I just didn’t remember.

9:59 I mean, I didn’t either.

10:00 Starting to though.

10:01 I definitely felt it as a child.

10:03 I felt there had to be more than what I was experiencing my childhood.

10:08 Like many had some wonderful fun moments, but also had many dark and fearful moments, not saying it was my parents’ fault at all.

10:17 I have another episode about that, like not saying that at all.

10:20 So please don’t take that that way.

10:22 I love my parents very much and they did the best job that they could do.

10:26 But I did experience a lot of trauma as a child that trauma I experienced during my childhood became my operating system for most of the time and most of my life and it actually is still affecting me today.

10:41 I felt so much anger, sadness, fear and was deeply programmed to think.

10:46 I was nothing to think.

10:47 I didn’t matter to think I would never be smart enough or good enough.

10:51 You might have those feelings too my whole life.

10:55 I’ve compared myself to anyone and everyone and everything.

10:59 My mind is such a jerk.

11:03 But it’s true.

11:04 It’s been tormenting me forever.

11:07 My mind and my heart, day after day get tormented.

11:12 I try to put a smile on my face and do the thing called life by pretending that I’m ok.

11:19 But there has always been that f*cking voice in my head telling me over and over and over that you are not enough, you are not as good as the others.

11:32 So don’t even try.

11:34 You don’t f*cking matter.

11:35 So just give up quit and it’s exhausting.

11:39 I’m just like, that is not the truth.

11:43 Ok, that’s bullshit.

11:45 It’s just not right for that to keep coming back into my head, into my mind, into where I can hear it.

11:52 I’m like, stop it already.

11:55 Why do I continue to allow the thoughts to have power over me?

11:58 Why do I believe the story that was passed down to me?

12:02 These are questions I often ask, I allow them because I didn’t know the truth.

12:07 I didn’t know the rules.

12:08 Guess what?

12:09 I’m learning the rules and I’m fighting back.

12:12 I’m fighting my way out of the prison.

12:13 I’m in, I’m learning how to accept all of me and not to think what others might think about me or if I’m good enough or if I’m as successful as others, why does it even matter so much?

12:27 All that matters is that I listen to my heart and my true self.

12:31 I connect to God and then I can tear down the walls that I put up to protect myself from the pain.

12:37 And all I did was keep the pain in.

12:39 You know, I was trying to keep the pain out, but I kept the pain in.

12:43 Isn’t that ironic?

12:45 Isn’t that ironic, don’t you think? When I connect, then I allow the light to take over the dark?

12:51 I know there will be more dark that comes.

12:55 But I also know that I’m connecting to the power within, then the light will always shine brighter.

13:01 The thing is that we have both because we need both to awaken to the truth of who we truly are.

13:07 The wound is the place where light enters you.

13:11 Remi quote, I super love.

13:14 The suffering pushes us to rise up and to be who we came here to be, it pushes us to remember, becoming aware that you can actually break the cycle or curse is key.

13:25 But actually taking the steps to pull yourself out is how you change it all to have it all.

13:30 It’s how you override the old program moving in the direction of what ignites your soul and taking the path that feels really, really good is how you and I can drown out the negative thoughts, flood your mind with what you want to see and become constantly.

13:48 Then you will drown out what has been controlling you.

13:52 Tell the voice that speaks the unwanted thoughts that you are the one in control.

13:58 Now you tell the story that is within your heart, you rewrite it all allow the anger or whatever negative feelings to fuel the fire within this helps me to turn the anger and desires of my heart into passion.

14:15 What angers me ignites me.

14:17 My moments, create my momentum.

14:20 I’m in a bottle, I’m in a bottle.

14:22 I’m like I dream of genie.

14:25 That’d be kind of cool.

14:26 She was so cute.

14:28 Anyway, I’m in a battle with the one who tries to control me but I will f*cking win this battle.

14:35 I am breaking free and I know I will be OK in the end, no matter what this too shall pass, you will find your way just like I am because we ask, we show or see right?

14:47 Ask, ask baby.

14:49 So we’re gonna take our power back by connecting to God.

14:53 We’re gonna visualize, we’re gonna have discipline.

14:56 We’re gonna meditate, we’re gonna create what’s in our heart, in our reality, not what’s in our mind unless it’s your good thoughts, not those negative thoughts, we’re taking our power back and we’re gonna get rid of those thoughts and we’re gonna tell them we’re done with you.

15:14 OK?

15:15 So, audios get out of here, take your power back and let’s get this reality created together by going within healing that inner child and taking our power back.

15:30 Thank you so much for tuning in with me today.

15:32 I hope that this message helped you and I will continue to talk more about compassion and communication, all kinds of good stuff coming up on this next season.

15:42 Thank you so much and I’ll see you next time.

15:45 Thank you for joining me today on You Are the Magic Pill.

15:49 My hope is that you leave this podcast feeling better about yourself, inspired, activated and ready to swallow your fears, to realize your dreams.

15:59 I would be honored if you would leave me a five star review over in iTunes each week.

16:04 I’ll randomly choose one person to win some You Are the Magic Pill swag.

16:08 Make sure you add your name to the review and I’ll reach out to you if you’re the winner, I really appreciate you spending your time with me today.

16:15 Be sure to pop over to youarethemagicpill.com for past episodes and more gifts to help you wake up and realize that you are the magic pill and you can change it all to have it all.

Episode 35: Welcome back to You Are the Magic Pill, I’m your host Victoria. On today’s episode I want to encourage you to follow your own heart’s desire, and to know that that’s exactly what you need to do, try not to compare yourself, try not to judge yourself according to other people’s standards and other people’s desires that they want in their life. You take your own path, you do what’s right for you and I have promised you, you’re going to come up out on top, you’re going to rise up. It’s will be amazing and you’re going to be exactly where you need to be. You be you boo!

Listen in…

SHOWNOTES:

• We have the answers within ourselves, but we tend to look outward for those answers, and we seek advice from so many other people. But what we don’t realize is that the people we seek advice are on a different journey, while it’s okay to talk about things with other people. It’s also best to probably sit with yourself and to ask yourself those questions and to see what comes to your mind or what plays out in your reality, what synchronicity happens. Or the things that you start to observe because you asked to see certain things or you are seeking something, then you find it, right? (1:43)

•    And I’ve kinda touched on this before, but it’s really been weighing on my heart lately to talk about it a little bit more in depth, because it’s like we ask other people for this particular advice, but then they give us advice, but it’s based on what their reality is right? So even though we are in this world together, we’re not in the same reality, and we don’t have the same perception because we each have our own upbringing, we each have our own things that we were taught that are true or not true for ourselves, but it is what we were taught. The key is really to listen to yourself, to follow your own guidance and your own intuition, and I’m not saying not ask people stuff, but just do know that it isn’t necessarily going to be the best advice. Because they’re telling you based on what they would do. (2:33)

•   Are you trying to create that in your reality based on that you think that you’re supposed to do this? Because other people are doing this, because society thinks you should do it? Or, are you doing this because you want to? You know what I mean? Because you desire to… So that’s the questions I have to ask myself. Whenever I’m making decisions, it’s like, Okay, how do you feel about that inside… Does it ignite you? Does it bring peace to you or am I pushing it? Am I trying to make this happen based on somebody else’s beliefs, based on somebody else’s journey, based on what I’ve been taught, so that’s where you really have to know thyself, right, because when you know thy self, then you can feel and be able to be in tune with what’s right for your personal path, and it’s just been really such a cool experience to finally see that for myself and to be like, It’s okay if you don’t do a certain thing that other people think you should do. (5:29)

•    And if you don’t know what that is, that’s where you have to start spending time with yourself, because if you’re always following the leader, you’re always following the guidance of other people, then maybe you’re living in their shadows and you’re not truly seeing who you are. So, you gotta take that step to find out who you are, right? If you don’t know… I didn’t use to know that, I’m slowly still discovering that because I’ve always kinda lived in the shadows of other people, and I don’t regret it, it’s fine, it’s just part of my process of this life and part of my experience, and now I’m just kind of realizing that I’m just kind of discovering who I am and what ignites and just lights me up. I’m starting to take different risks to do different things that I didn’t know I would even be doing. (7:26) 

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Episode 27: Welcome back to You Are the Magic Pill, I’m your host Victoria. Today I want to talk about, how sometimes when we people watch, we tend to start criticizing others or start analyzing them. Like, why do they have that on, or why are they wearing their hair like that. I just want to bring in a little awareness to how we look at others, and how that is a reflection of ourselves. Let’s remember we’re all apart of the one, and we’re all here having a human experience, so let’s all just embrace ourselves and stop freaking judging one another.

Ready to hear more? Let’s go…

IN THIS EPISODE:

•     I used to look at people and think, Why do they wear those clothes, why do they show on their butt, or why are they showing their breasts or, why are they doing that? But you know what, I did that because I was projecting, because I felt insecure about my body, my body image. (2:20)

•     I was feeling insecure when I saw people wearing clothing like that, and so that was just me projecting my insecurities, as a shadow within myself, that I’ve now learned about and I have been working on loving all parts of me and loving myself exactly as I am, and if I want a different body image,  I create that. (2:37)

•     The next time you’re out and you question why somebody is wearing a certain outfit, or why they have their hair purple, or why they have a nose piercing, or have… I’m trying to think, why they do whatever they do, then you’re judging them. (3:42)

•     We’re all here having a human experiences, we’re all just embracing ourselves, trying to find ourselves, and I think it would be way more fun if we would just stop freaking judging one another. (4:34)

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Episode 19: On today’s episode, I’m talking to you about a topic that makes me uncomfortable, but not too much, I’m pretty much an open book. I want to take a look at how we sometimes use sex as a way to feel wanted, desired, loved, or validated.

Ready? Listen in…

IN THIS EPISODE:

•    I thought by having sex basically, that that would bring me love, and in all honesty, every time that I did have sex, it was me thinking that I was going to be with this person and that we were going to be in love, and that if I did this, then that would create that love, and as you probably know how the story goes… (2:07)

•    I know that when I experience those relationships are those moments of intimacy, and then it just leaves you with still that void and you don’t get anything out of it and accept disappointment and more void. I guess at the time to regret and guilt and shame, all those terrible things that we tell ourselves associated with sex. (3:33)

•    I’m here to tell you, is that we each have our own journeys and just because your journey is not the same as my journey, or the same as somebody else’s, doesn’t mean that it’s a wrong journey, it means it’s the right journey for you. (5:33)

•   I’m just speaking from my experience that I used to think those thoughts about myself, and I no longer do that because I know that it’s made me the person I am today, and I’m really looking forward to actually experiencing that now that I love myself. (7:49)

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Episode #11: Hi and welcome back to You Are the Magic Pill. I am so excited that you’re here with me today. I call this episode, don’t tell me what to do, because I don’t know about you, but when someone tells me what to do, I just don’t really like it. And I think that I know why I don’t like it, it’s because it triggers me a little bit. I think it’s because of my childhood and my upbringing. I was the youngest in my family, and so I was constantly told what to do, and I never really had to make a decision, because all my decisions were basically made for me. Throughout much of my life for me. I lacked the confidence to think that I could make a decision. I let other people guide me and live my life. I was just like this person going about and doing what people told me to do. So I think… Now, when people try to tell me what to do, I’m like, Oh yeah, I don’t like that.

Listen in to hear more…

IN THIS EPISODE:

•   Basically, I got married at 19 because I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t believe in myself. I bought into the fact that I would never make it out of my own. That  I would never be anything. And that this is what I should do. (3:00)

•    We have these experiences that happen in our lives, and then when we make those choices and we have things happen, then that allows us to have that contrast and then we’re like, Okay, I’m not going to to do that again, I learned what I needed to learn. (4:48)

•    If you just kinda let other people guide you, let other people determine your future, take a pause and think about that and really feel what’s going on in your body, and if it feels right, that’s great. But if it doesn’t feel right, and you feel like you’ve been inserted into somebody else’s life or into a job, or into whatever it is you’re doing, that you feel like that it doesn’t feel like you belong, or it doesn’t feel like what was meant for you. Then take a pause and think about it. (7:39)

•     So we all need to just go within, you need to search within your own heart and go that path, go that narrow path, and that is where you find your bliss, that’s what you’ll find your happiness. (9:08)

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Episode #10. Hi, and welcome back to You Are the Magic Pill. Today I wanted to talk to you about my marriage. I was married for 21 years, that’s a very long time. And I don’t know about you, if you’re married or if you think about getting married, or you’re in a relationship, maybe this message will help you. I wanted to write this book, I titled it. Forever is a really long time, what they don’t tell you, Because honestly, when I was 24, when I got married, the second time, I’ll have to tell you about the first time on another podcast, the second time I got married, I have to say, I had no idea. I just knew I wanted to find my soulmate, I knew I wanted to get married, have babies. All of that. But did I actually know that? I was told that that’s what I should do. And it’s just out there, just constant messages to guide us into that direction… go get married, have children, you’ll be happy they said. And no, I’m not going to paint it all as bad, I’m not that kind of person, but I will say that I got married rather quickly and here’s what I learned from that experience.

Listen in…

IN THIS EPISODE:

•    And I have this question, I’ve often thought about this and was really funny as I wrote this four years ago when I was still married, and I understand that more today than I did back then, I wrote, does it mean until someone actually dies, or could it mean if you feel the life sucked out of you, like you are dead, and I think that that’s what it means. (3:34)

•    I just knew I had to get married and then one day, start a family. I had no idea what that really meant. I do know now. And so I think when you’re on this journey, make sure to listen to that inner voice, if you notice red flags, pay attention, pay attention to those red flags, if you feel it’s the right direction to go, then go for it because it’s part of your journey. (5:51)

•    It’s going to work out in the end. All things work out the way that they should. And if you go along your life and you realize that you know that everything is going to work out exactly as it should in your life, then you can have a greater piece and happiness. (6:33)

•   And when you become aware of that and you see that all things are not about just having that relationship in your life forever, then you realize that you’re just learning from that person, and then you can see all those things and go through that process of becoming whole yourself. And that’s another episode to get into more of that process. But just to introduce that to you, that that’s what we’re here to do, is to become whole and to come to love ourselves so we can reflect that back into the world and change our reality together. (7:48)

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Episode #9. Hi, and welcome back to You Are the Magic Pill. Today we’re going to talk about love, because it’s February, the month of love. So, I’m going to tell you the best love story I’ve ever heard, or ever been involved with actually. Once upon a time, there were six girls who went on a search for love, they were all beautiful, kind, loving and loyal and romantic at heart, they all found their Prince Charming. He was attentive, kind, charismatic and handsome, he was their last first date…

Want to hear more? Listen in…

IN THIS EPISODE:

•   It was a magical date, and I thought, Wow, this guy is so funny, I really like him, and then we were supposed to get together later that night, but conveniently, something came up… Okay, right away. My body was like, Girl, something’s off. (3:00)

•   Have you had red flags before? Do you listen to your body? Do you listen to your intuition? Do you listen to AKA, also known as your soul speaking to you? Do you actually listen or do you just disregard it? (3:47)

•   I’m thankful for it because it pushed me to really realize and to always know that I am speaking to myself, I’m trying to warn myself and to be aware of that and to listen to my inner voice, and to act on it and to not be such a nice person, and to really stand up for my worth, stand up for what I want. (5:29)

•  I don’t think any of it was a mistake. I have no regrets, I don’t know about You, but I’ve had friends that say, Oh, you move too fast. Or, you did this, or you did that wrong. I’m like, No, I didn’t. I did exactly what I needed to do, I followed my heart. I didn’t listen to my intuition, but you know what, I wasn’t supposed to at the time. (7:05)

•  If you’re with someone that doesn’t really do it for you, or you feel like your life is being sucked out of you, then move on, get off of that train ride and move on and have another experience and see where that one takes you.  (8:27)

WAYS TO CONNECT:

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