Episode 13: I’m excited because I haven’t had a guest on here to talk to you with me until today. I have my friend Withers with me, we’ve known each other for a while now, but we’ve never actually knew that we had something in common. I’m going to let Withers tell you her story, because it is really cool. I was as looking on Instagram about a week or two ago, and I saw this video, and I don’t watch a lot of videos on Instagram or tiktok or anything like that, but I decided to watch it. And so I started listening to her story and she started to share something that was super vulnerable and personal to her, and I was like, Oh my gosh, that reminds me of something that I struggle with, but I’ve actually not shared on the podcast just yet. I want to touch on that a little bit today, and share with you how my story relates to Withers’. But it’s more about her story today.

Ready? Listen in…

• And you know the thing is, I would say with scars, there’s all different types, and there’s emotional scars that we’ve been through, there’s physical scars that everybody can see, which maybe is easier for me because they see it. Emotional scars people can’t see and they don’t understand the pain,you’ve been through. A physical scar, you wear around and they see, Well, she survived something. (5:19)

• When I stood in front of a mirror, a long story short, and I was like, guess what? This is me in a bathing suit, I’m pale, I don’t have any make-up on. When I get really pale, my scars turn purple on my legs, and my father said he’d never even really seen it, I’d been covering it my whole life. He told me that last night, he said, I didn’t really notice that, you’re really good at it, you’re really good at hiding it. (8:09)

• When you focus on what you think is so wrong with yourself, then you lose what’s so right. And I just believe that whole-heartedly. Because for myself, I lost a lot of joy, I lost a lot of fun times because I didn’t want to wear shorts, I didn’t wanna go to the lake, I didn’t want to go out in the sun. It’s like I limited myself and I didn’t enjoy my life. (11:25)

• I dated several guys and I was always looking. I thought my purpose was to find my perfect match. I was looking everywhere and I wanted children, blah, blah, and it occurred to me I have to be able to bring into the situation what I’m asking from a situation. That was the first thing that occurred to me. Secondly, what occurred to me was I had to love myself. It was not until I loved myself. I looked at myself in the mirror and I was like, You know, you’re good looking for these reasons, because you’re a good person, because you’re good, you don’t have to be a beauty queen or Miss Arkansas. But when I started loving myself, I actually volunteered for Big Brothers, Big Sisters. Eliza is my little sis, and seeing her world and seeing what she goes through, and then comparing it and realizing how lucky I was and realizing the capacity I had to do things for others and to stand up for them and not be ashamed and just truly focusing on myself, then it came to me. I met my husband. (17:23)

• People want to see your weaknesses, you think that people want to look at you on Facebook and Instagram and all those things and say, Oh my God, our life is perfect, and blah blah. That’s not how people connect, that’s not how people love you. They love you when you’re honest and you’re like, I’m hurting, or this happened to me, and you can relate on that level. And that is a true friendship, that is something that lasts forever. (21:22)


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